We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize