i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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