Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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