Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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