one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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