please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize