rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
