he thought i was a dude.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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