Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
