I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
