so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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