ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize