She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
