I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
