let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
