I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
