How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
