I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
