Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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