Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize