is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
pop tarts are not kleenex
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
