who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
