She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
