Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
