that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Terrible idea I love it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
