Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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