I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
