oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize