well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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