i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
