she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
