just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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