my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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