I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
