p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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