Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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