hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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