Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
