Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
