went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
