Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
