shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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