apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
