That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize