found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
