In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
