I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
