Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Everything about him screamed your future.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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