I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
