8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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