my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want nice things and good sex
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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