Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Even my vagina gasped.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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