I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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