Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
