things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Someone came in the potted fern
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
