i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
