Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
