Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
being pregnant is like rehab
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
