blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
