And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
