Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize