Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
as a side note pls kill me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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