Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
