remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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