Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize