so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
