It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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