Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
